its funny how you see people out who you once considered good friends. when time has come between your friendships so much so that you look at them as they look at you, but you both hardly recognise each other. i hate this. i hate how one week you can be best buddies with a person, or a group of people, and then the next youre noone to them. maybe its my fault. i have this thing where i always have to wait and see if they will come up to me first, but they rarely do. maybe theyre just waiting on me to make the move? or maybe i was just the flavour of the month, nothing but an old taste in their mouth. and then there are the guys who you could talk to for hours and hours about nothing, and you saw them as your brother, but they saw you as something more. but the one that hurts the most is the one who stays by your side through everything. hes the one who goes to hospital every single day just to sit by your bed while you cant even speak because youre in so much pain or so drugged up on morphine. hes the one who gets a little 's' tattooed on his hand to prove your friendship. hes the one who you thought you could always count on. but hes the one who leaves without a word. hes the one who when you ask him about it, all he replies with is 'i have nothing to say to you.' hes the one who hurts the most. ive lost so many people this year, but theres only two i wish i could get back. the weird thing is, id only known them for a few months before any shit happened. oh, and they hate each other.
on another note, my court case went extremely well on thursday. the two dangerous driving causing GBH were totally dismissed, so that is amazing news. i have to get a pre-sentencing report done by the parole office in the next few weeks and i get sentenced on the 20th of april.
i also get my leg pin taken out next thursday, so that means i wont have any metal in my body anymore. i can finally put this all behind me. i can finally let go.
dont get me wrong, i still feel guilty even just saying that, being happy about it, but im trying to live my life.
now all thats left to do is celebrate.
