you think i can turn off so easily. i cant. my mind is racing faster than the speed of light, but not one thought reaches me. im grabbing at anything that will tell me how things got to this but so far, nothing. you say youve found a way to switch off, please let me know what that is so i can have a little bit of relief from this. but then thats being selfish. i have to figure out what to say next but no words come to mind. im sitting here, acting as calm as possible so that you cant see how broken down i am. i dont want to speak. i dont want to do anything. i just want a drink. give me something to calm me down. give me something to make the pain go away. give me something.
