tuesday nights

i wish i could turn the clock back to when things were easy. but then... if i turned it back... id lose you. or would i find you anyway if i went back and started over? youve been so close for years and years, but only one year when youve been by my side. im sick of messing things up. i had a good life, good job. then i messed it up. i completely fucked my life up. not even just mine. but to be completely honest, i dont care about my life anymore. i do not give a fuck. i just wish more than anything that i could take back the pain i brought on him and on my family. so far, ive had 11 or 12 broken bones in 18 months but id gladly break every single bone in my body, completely shatter them, turn them to dust, to make sure he never had to be in the position he is now and for my family to be happy. i just want to go back. back to when i was still at ganellen. back to when everything was ok. having said that though, to have you in my life, is the greatest thing i could ever imagine.