mini freak out

so my 21st is coming up. well, next month. ive been thinking about it alot the last few weeks and ive come to the conclusion that i am a fucking shit human. im turning 21 and all i have under my belt is a few scummy jobs, a fuck load of court cases, easily $10k in debt, i almost killed myself and two innocent victims, i drink constantly, i still live with my parents, starting community service tomorrow.. god, i really do suck at this whole life game. i have a very bleak future and a past riddled with tears. when i was a kid, i had everything planned out. i knew where i wanted to be by 21, but with all of lifes little distractions, where has it left me? im at the point where i dont even know how to pull myself up and out of this neat little mess ive made for myself. dont get me wrong, its fun as fuck, but i want to be someone. i guess when i get community service out of the way, a fresh start is well overdue.